I’ve been running at Mt. Trashmore a lot, a nice public park with great paved trails and all that jazz. Being out there a lot I see the same types of people out there over and over. Many of them annoy me to no end so I have to rant. I’ve been saving this up for a while.

[ed note: This is as far as Jennie could make it without lapsing into vulgarity. We've put the rest of Ms. Z's rant and disregard for proper capitalization below the fold as not to offend our more sensitive readers. ]

1) The slobs
people who can’t bother to pick up their dog shit. If you dont feel like cleaning it up let your dumb mutt shit all over your own yard and let your neighbors complain to you about it. This also goes for people who throw cigarette butts on the ground. Newsflash– the filters aren’t biodegradable, they just sit there and pollute the fucking waterways until a city worker comes along to clean em up.

2) The smellies
ladies if you are going to the park take it easy with the perfume. if you picked it up off the clearance shelf in Walmart , put it away before you go out.if you must wear that pungent flower-piss keep it to one spray max. you are walking around in a cloud of toxically fragrant chemicals.
not to mention the 2 metric shit-tons of fertilizer the city has put down over a large portion of the park. I think it’s going to be a community garden so it’ll be nice but in the mean time, when its hot out and muggy, it’s literally a large steaming pile of shit.

3) The token effort exercisers
Out there to exercise? Good on ya. but if you are out there pretending to exercise so that you can sit around being fat later saying “I can’t understand why I’m not losing weight, I work out!” I’d like to smack you around. (You probably also treat yourself to a pint of haagen daz as a reward for walking a half a mile but I’m not going to try to teach you the principles of calorie counting & 2nd grade arithmetic.) If you are out there on your phone, reading a book, chatting with your friends, you’re not working out. you’re taking a walk. Which is fine. But don’t pretend like you’re doing anything BUT taking a walk.

And by the way if you can’t be bothered to put forth any effort, don’t talk shit or laugh about me when I run past you. Don’t run faster than me for .1 mile and then walk until I pass you again. I’m not trying to compete with you, I’m competing with myself and youre in my fucking way.

4) Fashionistas
a subcategory of #3. They are obviously more concerned with looking good than with actually exerting effort or god forbid, breaking a sweat. Shiny velour tracksuits, hair done up, matching shoes and … yes even jewelry and sunglasses. Congratulations on being able to put together a nice outfit. Now put your ass into second gear.

5) Roadhogs
Yeah, I know I’m not the only one out there and running does nto give me the right of way. But whether I’m running or walking I don’t like when someone steps RIGHT in front of me, or lets their dog have 20 feet of leash so they nip at my hells when I go by, weaves around all over the path cos they can’t walk a straight line, pushes a stroller in front of me, walks in front of me with a kite string trailing behind in my face, or my personal favorite: stopping right in front of me. Look around respect your fellow human beings’ space. I liked playing Paperboy on the video game, but not in real life
The major offenders : Fashionistas with Strollers, kids with bicycles, people with other wheely transportation like scooters or 2-wheeled skateboards, large groups of people who think they are the only ones at the park

I’ve probably got more, but its now been about 2 hours since I finished today’s summer morning run and an hour since I wanted to punch ticketmaster’s website in the face for not letting me get some Virgin FreeFest tickets, so my rage has subsided

have a great day folks !